"Oh, if I only knew then what I know now."

I had the wonderful opportunity to meet with a group of women tonight at our local Stroller Strides -hosted Luna Moms Club Mom's Night Out. Also, aside from the normal amount of interaction with new moms I am blessed with through my work, I have had a couple of dear friends recently give birth and so I am bathing in the proverbial enjoyment of nurturing and celebrating with women in this terrifically emotional time of life. As I have sat with, emailed with, and talked via telephone with women from all walks of life, in a variety of geographical locations, and enduring different stages of New Mommyhood, I have found myself again and again reflecting on my own transitions into first motherhood, twice motherhood and thrice motherhood. And the same words keep reverberating through my head with each reflection, "Oh, if I only knew then what I know now."

While every different stage of Motherhood is tough stuff, making that initial transition from Free Spirit Woman Who Can Sleep in on Saturday Mornings If She Wants To....to....Awake Every Two to Three Hours During the Night With Bags Under Her Eyes, Yet Crazy In Love With Her New Baby...seems to be the hardest.

It's not just coming to terms with the fact that, "once that baby makes his or her entrance into your world, you are responsible for the well being of another person in some way for the rest of your life," that makes the transition...enormous...it's the worry, anxiety, questions, confusions, process of trial and error, self-doubt and doubt of the validity of one's own parental instincts that makes the transition what it is. And as I watch friends, students and new acquaintances struggle with night time sleep issues, feeding issues, discipline issues, and balancing act issues, I want so much to give them all just a little bit of that magical ingredient I seem to be slowly developing as I make my own transition from New Mom to Seasoned Mom: relaxation.

I'm not saying I am a totally laid back mom all the time...or even most of the time. Ask my husband, and he'll tell you, I am an emotional zero to sixty kinda' gal. One of my favorite places to be is on top of a soap box. But I've learned to go with the flow a little more as each day, week and year of parenthood passes. I am better able to disengage from the screaming tantrum antics of our three-year-old son and the, "my hair isn't cooperating!!!" antics of our five-year-old daughter with nary a rise in my blood pressure. Sometimes. But I don't find myself doubting my core capabilities as a mom like I used to. And I do seem to finally trust in the concept that tomorrow will be another day, and with it comes a new opportunity.

When our eldest was a colicky infant, I couldn't see past the next hour, let alone trust in the opportunity that a new day would bring. But those days are long gone now, (long enough gone to refer to them with a touch of nostalgia) and now the best I can do is offer the moms who are newer at this stuff than I am the encouragement that, "you will get through this. You will sleep again. You will figure out how to comfort her crying. You will find yourself again."

Cheers to all the mothers out there, new and not-so-new. Keep up the good work!

Celebration of Motherhood

As Mother's Day approaches, I can't help but spend some time thinking about my own journey as a mom, and the journey of all the women who came before me. The attached video is a tribute to those women...and all women who struggle with, and find triumph in their own journey through Motherhood.

Enjoy~

View directly from YouTube

Gotta' Love It

I know I don't have to tell any of you mom readers out there, but the difficult early years of raising young children is...um...difficult. And while griping and moaning about cleaning poop out of the carpet, refereeing squabbles, and fixing dinners that no one will like, with the remaining three ingredients in your pantry, serves its own VERY IMPORTANT purpose, we DO have to once in a while celebrate those moments that really keep us going.

Like this morning.

Now, I will start by saying that the inevitable ramification of children being raised by a childbirth educator is that they learn about having babies much sooner than other kids. You just can't expect young children to not take interest in the baby dolls, pelvis models and posters that mom hauls around with her to and from class. And I still call myself proud to know that my children know the correct terms for vagina and penis...there are no hoo-hoos or wee-wees in our household!

As we were getting ready to leave for preschool this morning, five-year-old Ellie was toting her doll around, cradling Baby Alice in her arms, telling me how "newborn babies like to be held this way," and confessing that, "I just had her yesterday. I walked around a lot and worked really hard to have her come out of my vagina." She made me promise her I would "give her baby mommy's milk" while she was gone to school, in case her baby got hungry. Oops. Baby Alice is still out in the car...

Anyway, now driving into town to make it to my dermatologist appointment before preschool drop off, all three kids in tow, Ellie wondered aloud what babies drink while they're inside their mommies' tummies. "There's a kind of water in there called amniotic fluid," I responded as matter-of-fact as always. "Oh," Ellie replied as content as always with my matter-of-fact answers.

"Is there any sharks in there?" Landon wanted to know of the water in a mommy's tummy. It was, after all, a legitimate concern. How would a baby stay safe in his mommy's tummy if the intrauterine environment was also inhabited by a Great White?

Once in the dermatologist's exam room, my kids were excited about the "big blue dress" I got to wear for my exam. "It's just a paper gown," I explained. "It makes it easier for the doctor to look at my skin." I was, after all, feeling quite gleeful that the doctor was only going to be looking at my skin. For me, going to the doctor in the past few years has usually involved a paper gown, a set of stirrups and a very cold instrument.

As the doctor looked me over, the kids intently eying her, and me, Ellie stood up on the exam table step. She began poking and prodding at my arms and chest in quick succession after the doctor. "This is a big one," she pointed out of the mole on my chest.

"Thanks for noticing that, Honey."

This, of course, comes on the tale of an incident two days ago during which I found three-year-old Landon hitting his twenty-month-old baby brother with a plastic golf club. "Landon, we don't hit people with golf clubs!" I hollered, swiping the club from his grasp. "Why would you think that's ok to do?"

"Because, I thought he was a golf course," Landon replied with as much innocence as he could muster.

I'm fairly sure my sister did exponentially more horrid things to me growing up and I, along with my own sometimes frazzled mom both survived. This is the stuff that makes life rich, right?

So I will continue to record these priceless moments. Who knows...maybe there's another book out there, just waiting for me to write!

What was YOUR favorite silly kid moment this week?

With Thanks

Ok, Tera Luedde, I just have to tell you publicly that YOU ARE THE BOMB! For the rest of you, who have absolutely NO IDEA what I'm talking about, read this excerpt from an email Tera just sent out to 300 friends, colleagues, students, neighbors, playgroup parents...etc., etc.:

"One of my very best friends, Kimmelin Hull whom I met when I lived in Pittsburgh, PA, has done what most of us only dream about. She has written an amazing book/memoir about her life as a stay-at-home mother of three children under the age of 5.

I was honored and had the pleasure of being able to read her manuscript a few months ago. It is absolutely BRILLIANT! First of all, I was shocked, because when the manuscript arrived in the mail I opened it and read the letter Kimmelin enclosed asking that I read it. I almost fell over. How could one of my very best friends write a book and not even tell anyone she was writing it while being a mother to 3 children under the age of 5? How in the world did she have the time, energy, and brain cells to do it? Needless to say, that next day while flying to Seattle for work I read the entire manuscript. I laughed out loud, cried, and was in awe of my friend. (the guy next to me in the plane asked if I was "OK" since I was laughing and crying, and I told him I was reading one of the best books ever written.)

I couldn't have asked for a greater vote of confidence.

And while I'm at it, Tera's not the only one turning the tides on this book. Andrew, Liz, Mom...your support in helping me get this book out there has gone far and beyond what "devotion" can accurately describe. The depth of my thanks is unlimited.

Now, I will stop before I embarrass myself, or anyone else. But really, truly. THANK YOU.